When loner Sarah starts having bad dreams and experiencing unexplainable events, her conspiracy theories become increasingly credible. Jeff Baena, Allison Brie, and the Duplass brothers? Horse Girl was a recipe for success. And it does do so many things well. Unfortunately its second half does not deliver. Horse Girl is subdued and slow in its … Continue reading Review – Horse Girl – Runaway horse
In the latest installment of Hulu and Blumhouse's Into the Dark series, Pop singer Valentine is confronted by her abusive ex-boyfriend/manager and his new girlfriend, pop singer Trezzure, who has stolen Valentine's look, songs, and style. For a movie about plagiarism, My Valentine is tragically unoriginal. The film starts out with a montage of social … Continue reading Review – My Valentine – A Movie worth breaking up with
You probably know the story of Hansel and Gretel. Gretel and Hansel declares Gretel the protagonist and sends the siblings off into the wilderness on a dark, abstract journey. Most movie goers expecting to see a Blumhouse version of Hansel and Gretel will likely find themselves saying, "well... that was different," by the movie's end. … Continue reading Review – Gretel and Hansel – Too abstract?
A meteorite lands in the yard of a farmhouse and, well, it's not good news for an alpaca farmer and his family. An alpaca farmer played by Nicolas cage. I could end the review there. Director Richard Stanley brings us the first decent body horror film in a very long time. The film mixes practical … Continue reading Review – The Color Out of Space – Lovecraft done right
Eli has a condition: he's allergic to everything. So his loving parents take him to a special doctor's sealed and air filtered facility for treatment. But will it work? You'll be hoping the answer is no by the third act. With a few exceptions, Netflix has not been able to hit the mark with its … Continue reading Eli – Or, how to elie to your audience
Workers on a deep sea drill team must find a way to escape when something starts destroying their base. And it isn't an earthquake! To call the film an Alien ripoff is dismissive and naive--the dynamic in Underwater is completely different. Underwater draws much more from films like James Cameron's The Abyss and even Solaris … Continue reading Underwater – Aquatic spooks that don't rock the boat
Black Christmas is a righteously angry film that calls out the patriarchy and seeks revenge. Bummer it isn't that great. Riley must help save the lives of her sorority sisters when it seems the fraternity is up to some more than sinister holiday festivities. The advertisement campaign promised a series of holiday themed (and hopefully … Continue reading Black Christmas (2019) – spreading the holiday fear?
This Netflix original King adaption jumps into the tall grass, where time and space lose their connection to reality. Two families fight to escape the green labyrinth, finding unexpected obstacles left and right. In the Tall Grass has been out for a bit now, and boy have critics and viewers pulled out the weed whacker. … Continue reading In The Tall Grass – CGI grass!
Doctor Sleep continues the story of Danny Torrance from Stanley Kubrick's The Shining (1980). Danny's all grown up, and must help a young "shiner" defeat a malicious group of shiners. The performances are fine and the story compelling enough, but there are some issues with this sequel. I did however get the chance to see … Continue reading Doctor Sleep – At least it’s not a remake
Eggers brushed up on his Shelley and Byron for this lovecraftian tale of shanty terror. Ephraim Winslow reports to duty as a wickie under lighthouse keeper Thomas Wake on a tiny island. When a storm keeps Winslow from leaving once his month long shift is over, he and Wake must survive the storm on limited … Continue reading The Lighthouse